How I’m Going to Win Jeopardy

How I am Going to Win Jeopardy

Today, like so many days, I hoped that this would be the day that Neil would take a nap.  I got in bed with him and read him his favorite, 1001 Bugs to Find.  Not my favorite by the way.  Because it has 1001 bugs to find.  I am not kidding.

The flower bed has 9 snails, 4 spittlebugs, 10 stink bugs, 8 pink spiders, 6 tiger moths, 10 ants, 3 hairy caterpillars, 9 bumblebees, 7 crane flies, and 5 peacock butterflies.  Neil finds every one of them, and then we go to the Rocky Desert folllowed by Tropical Treetops. 

We have not made it to the end of book yet.  Neil  has the fortitude for it I’m sure, but I fall asleep while he’s counting painted grasshoppers.  I wake up ten minutes later after he’s bonked his head on his bed or shoved his elbow in my ear.  He looks at me with his ankle propped up on his knee and is ready to count harlequin bugs.

I do sometimes wish that this three year old was not such a prodigy in the attention span department.  Believe me. I have tried to rectify this problem by letting him watch television and play the Wii, but his attention span has not waivered.  As a parent, there is only so much you can do.  I wish I could throw the attention spans of our family in a blender and redistribute them a little more equitably, but I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.   

Today I decided to be more positive about the book and actually pay attention to these little bugs.  Bug knowledge might come in handy in Jeopardy, which I am going to win someday.  There are only three things I need to do to win–

  • Pay more attention
  • Learn a lot more
  • Think faster

I see Alex now, doing that little awkward interview at the beginning (he is so not good at that), and the guy next to me has just discovered cold fusion and the other guy just won the biggest US supreme court case of the decade, and I’m only the gal with five kids.  But then we get to the category, “bugs,” and I just spank them.     

Ricky interrupted my dreaming session by asking me to help him find the last lantern bugs.  I did, but was soon distracted with a bug named, “Lacewings.”  Now, if you had to resign yourself to being a bug for the rest of your life, wouldn’t you feel a little better if you were  given the name, “lacewings?”

It has lacy wings.  It’s rather pretty for a bug.  I was just admiring this little creature when Neil pointed to a zero and said, “Ten.”

“No, it’s a zero.”

“Ten.”

If you do not like this picture, you try tickling and shooting at the same time. It is a very difficult thing to do.

“Zero.”  Of course at that point I had to inflict severe corporal punishment by tickling him.  Tickling him does not seem to expedite the falling asleep part of nap time.  Maybe I should cut it out.  Maybe I should give up on nap time altogether.  Nah.  I have a Jeopardy tournament to win.

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