Do you ever sometimes feel like you don’t fit in? I did for most of my adolescence, but I thought I had GROWN OUT of that until last night. I went to my sister’s bridal shower, and I was feeling quite sheepish because I had bought her some lingerie that was very well–. Earlier that afternoon, I had walked into Victoria Secret, and seriously, I thought I was going to throw up. I hated ALL of it. What I really hated was that the little nothing I bought cost me $50. Seriously, ounce for ounce, the VS commodity costs more than gold.
I was explaining my VS experience to my cousin and she said, “Oh yeah. Everything there is hoochie mama.”
“Yes! That’s exactly it!” and this is where I really lost my footing. “You know what I really like? The nightgowns that Liz and Jane wear in Pride and Prejudice,” and then I said in all seriousness, “Our husbands should start a pajama business and make pajamas like Lizzie and Jane would wear.”
She guffawed at me. Seriously. Guffawed loudly. “Guys LOVE hoochie mama. They don’t want their women in some Victorian dress that goes all the way up to their neck.”
“It’s not Victorian. It’s Edwardian, which is way different.” (It turns out we were both wrong–Austen lived during the time of King George).
My cousin thought that was really funny. While she was guffawing, my sister unwrapped the $50 piece of lace I got her. My mother blushed. So did I. But everyone else said, “That’s so cute.”
And then everyone started talking about The Bachelor, and my sister-in-law asked me if I watched it, and I admitted that I didn’t. “No, you wouldn’t,” she said. What’s that supposed to mean?
So I had a really hard time following that conversation, and I decided that I was going to have a hard time bringing about my favorite book I’m reading right now, I, Claudius. That book, by the way, is written from the point of view of Claudius, a lame and funny looking step-grandson of Caesar Augustus. Maybe I love it so much because Claudius was an outsider too. I bet he never watched The Bachelor.
But seriously, I was dying to tell someone about poor Claudius, and that I wanted to watch Cleopatra with Elizabeth Taylor and read Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, but I knew I would get seriously guffawed. I mean, I know I’m a nerd, and the sad thing is that nothing I learn sticks anyway. So if I’m going to be a nerd, I should at least know some stuff, right? Somtimes I feel like that Dori fish in Finding Nemo.
The thing with ADHD though is that when you get interested in something, you get passionate about it, and right now I’m obsessed with Rome. Of course, the obsession might end tomorrow, but for now, I must learn everything about it. Unfortunately, my brain is not well-organized for absorbing vast amounts of knowledge. I’m sure it gets put up there somewhere. I imagine that there’s some secretary up there writing bits of information on a bunch of post it notes and then sticking them in random places. I just need a better secretary up there–surely there is one that could introduce a filing cabinet. She could run and grab that piece of information I need in a jiffy for the nights when I decide to watch Jeopardy. I’ve actually stopped doing that because it’s proved to be way to stressful for her. My brain goes on overload and just shuts down–and it’s so frustrating because I know that that sticky note is up there somewhere.
So I’m seriously wondering if I can’t retain things well anyway, is it worth learning in the first place? Especially if I could be watching The Bachelor and getting all the jokes? It kind of bring memories of when I came home in our neighborhood dance carpool. I swear I was always stuffed in the back of the station wagon The other girls were talking about Seventeen magazine and other teenage information that I could not follow at all. Perhaps it’s time I fit in. Unless, is there anyone out there that want to learn more about Rome?
I felt better when I got home because my husband was so happy to see me. He had been out of town for a couple of days, and suddenly all of my concerns seemed irrelevant. I walked into my closet to find some cute pajamas, and I couldn’t find anything in the Victoria Secret or Victorian/Edwardian/Georgian style. In fact, I couldn’t find any pajamas at all. I really need to reorganize my closet. But my husband didn’t care. And then I decided that I didn’t care either.
Do you have weird passions that nobody else gets?
And did anybody else catch the irony that it’s named Victoria Secret and Queen Victoria was the most modest (or prudish, depending on your point of view) queen England ever had?