The Food Snob Had It Coming to Her.

So yeah, I’m a food snob, and I’ve really put the poor captain through the ringer when his food choices do not meet my standards.

Well.  Karma is real.

Little Shirley has had perpetual ear infections, and her doctor said that she would probably need surgery unless we tested her for allergies and then eliminated the troublesome foods out of her diet.  Well.  The results came in.  Let’s just say it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day for me.

Shirley is highly allergic  to wheat, cheese, whey, wheat gluten, milk, walnut, yeast, yogurt, mozzarella cheese, goat cheese, beef, rye, and barley.  (But who really cares about the barley?)  She tested so high that they want to test her for celiac disease.  
What can I say?  The little stinker’s worth it.  
I’m pretty bummed about it all.  We’re trying to make some changes, but it’s REALLY hard.  I make this homemade bread that is to die for, and she can’t have it!  We love making choco chip cookies.  This is the time of year to make cinnamon rolls.  I tried my peach berry cobbler with rice flour, and let’s just say it was not the same!  

No more cinnamon rolls.  Sniff.  

I was at the store yesterday in a complete daze.  I just walked around and around, looking at all the things that I can’t buy anymore.  Chocolate.  French bread.  Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream.  Sweetened condensed milk (Yum!)  Greek yogurt.  Blue cheese.  Havarti cheese.  Swiss cheese.  Feta cheese.  I love my cheeses and so does Shirley.

The doctor suggested we all go off dairy due to the ADHD family that we are.  She said “studies have shown that going off of dairy can cure ADHD, cancer, boredom, yada, yada, yada.” Actually the only part I remember her saying for sure was the ADHD part before I quit tuning in.

Are we an ADHD family?  Nah.  

We just have lots of super heroes.  

So.  Enough complaining.  Yes, life is tough, and yes, some of these curve balls make me think I was just insane to attempt a sand bucket list at all.  This whole new diet overhaul thing is going to take some serious focus and energy.  

But I’m not giving up.  I’m going to deal with the food crisis that I have, but I’m also going to start writing down my sand bucket list now!  No more procrastinating!  Here I go!  The first ten things we are going to do as a family.

1.  Read the great children’s classics.
2.  Fly a kite.
3.  Do a freaking work of art with sidewalk chalk.
4.  Snowshoe to a yert and stay the night.
5.  Go to Moon Lake.
6.  Teach my kids to cook!  (A no dairy no wheat, but tasty menu).
7.  Do snail art.
8.  Take little Shirley to Disneyland before she grows out of her princess fever.
9.  Read the entire Bible.  Including Leviticus.
10.  Write a family mission statement.  

What are your first ten things?  OK.  Three things is good.  I’m dying to know because I’m still looking for ideas!  Are You a Food Snob? Take the test and find out!


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