Hey! I’m in the Paper! Do you Guys Even Know What a Newspaper Is?

OK–guys.  Good news!  My essay about Ricky’s peanut butter reaction was published in The Daily Herald on Sunday.  Tomorrow I’m going to yell at all of you for not subscribing to newspapers so that you can congratulate your dearest friends when you find them in featured in there.  More good news.  I’ve got my first 25 goals written down for you all to see.  Don’t laugh!  

Tortoise Girl’s 25 Goals

1. Go see Mindles and fam in Germany.  Eat a wienerschnitzel.  Don’t drink the beer.  (2 years)

2. Join a hard core women’s tennis league.  Learn to grunt like Monica Seles when I hit the ball.  (15 years) 
3. Take a leisurely stroll through the Louvre museum. Steal one of the paintings. (15 years)
4.  Read through 100 masterworks of literature–while awake. (40 years)
5.  Learn how to make fancy schmancy chocolates.  (15 years)
6.  Share my fancy schmancy chocolates with my loved ones.  (30 years) 

I’ve been to Germany once, but I’m ready to go again and see my sister!  

7.  Go on a ballroom dancing cruise with the captain.  Tango with the captain, my captain, not the ship’s captain, unless of course, he asks me. (5 years)

8.  Learn how to speak with a British accent. (20 years) Tell my family I’m their long lost twin sister. 
9.  Learn a Beethoven sonata, the one that always makes me sigh.   (20 years)
10.  Teach my children how to cook all of the family meals. (Tonight until they leave home)
11.  Tell my children their family history.  Make only about half of it up.  (Now until they leave home)
12.  Learn how to use all forms of social media so I can spy on my kids.  (Now). 
13.  Serve an LDS mission with my husband.  (30 years).
14.  Make it a tradition to go to Cedar City’s Shakespearean Festival every year and see all the plays, even the Shakespearean ones.  Charm the Captain into going with me.  (7 years).
15.  Make it an annual tradition to take our family to the Messiah sing along at Abravenal Hall.  (Starting in 2 years). Also make it an annual tradition to have a chocolate cake eating contest at The Pantry right afterwards.    
16.  See the ruins of Troy in Turkey.  Dress up as a very old lady.  Tell everyone that me and Helen go way back.  (15 years)
17.  Learn to surf. (50 years)
18.  Make it into Guinness Book of World Records (for oldest person that learned to surf). 
19.  Write a biography of my father (5 years)
20.  Maintain a blog about my family that shares just enough info to keep my kids in line.  (Now until ???)
21.  Go on a Viking River Cruise.  Please captain!  Will you come?  (30 years)     
22.  Take my family to see Verdi’s Nabucco. (3 years).
23.  Learn to do a handstand (with the help of yoga).  (10 years)

24. Publish a book that people will actually buy–I’m counting on you guys! (10 years)
25.  Compete in a short triathlon.  Puddles fine for swimming event.  (5 years)


  1. LOVE your goals… so fun. Especially love that your number one goal is to come see me!!! And I can totally see you as a surfer… yes, so fun.

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