Why Facebook is Putting Matchmakers Out of Business

I love setting people up on dates.  I’ve done it for years now, but I’m about finished with all that now because Facebook is destroying my “business.”  


When I tell a girl I want her to meet my friend, the first thing she wants to know is his full name, and I know exactly why.   I cringe because I know that if she looks him up on Facebook, the date will never happen, but no matter how much hemming and hawing I do, the girl always gets his name out of me.

Guys are very much the same. I can very easily hear the words, “Yeah, I would love to meet her, what’s her name?” only to hear a few hours later, “I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now.”

I have gotten to the point where I don’t even bother setting people up unless they have a decent face book page.  I’m a busy girl, and I don’t have time to fail. 

The truth of the matter is the Facebook page has become the new résumé when it comes to dating.  People don’t want to waste their time, and Facebook has become the perfect way to screen people out before they actually have to give up their precious weekend time.

Here’s a few things that drive me crazy. 

People, especially singles, tend to post way too many pictures.  The best-selling dating book, The Rules says that it’s good to keep a little bit of mystery about you when you start dating and unfortunately, Facebook seems to have completely destroyed that possibility.

I find that many singles have over a thousand pictures of themselves on Facebook, which is simply overwhelming.  What happened to the age old rule always leave them wanting more

Which leads me to another one of my frustrations.  Why on earth do they post such unflattering pictures of themselves? 

Most people don’t have a thousand flattering pictures unless they are a runway model or a celebrity, and even celebrities don’t want you to take their picture.  The last thing they need is a bad picture gone viral. 

If you are not a model are celebrity, chances are you have only ten flattering pictures of yourself.  If you think you have more than this, ask your mother, and she’ll set you straight.  If it makes you feel any better, I have only six photos and these are the six you will find on my Facebook page. I have photos that make my mouth look too big and photos that would make you wonder if I ought to audition for The Walking Dead, but guess what?  You will never see them.  

Finally people need to reveal who they are.   My writing instructor, Caleb Warnock, introduced me to my favorite word:  piquant.  Piquant is one of those fascinating words which have so many nuances and shades of meaning but here are just a few:  engaging, delighting, attracting, interesting, stimulating, savory, and zesty. 

Caleb said that the characters in our novels needed to have piquant characteristics about them are they will lose our readers’ attention.  What’s more, it’s best to find piquant characteristics that reveal character. 

For example, take a ten year old boy that is always jumping on his pogo stick which are the cause of his mother’s migraines.  (Of course this example is strictly hypothetical.)  That fact that the boy jumps on a pogo stick nonstop is an interesting detail, but more than that, it reveals who he is.  He’s high energy.  He’s persistent.  And yes, he’s a little annoying.

Pictures on Facebook should do the same thing, show things that are unique about a person, but also reveal a person’s best characteristics. These might be some pictures that would get my attention as a matchmaker

A guy kneeling behind a boy in a wheel chair on a basketball court. (compassionate)

A girl playing the bagpipes (brave)

A girl showing off her homemade chocolates (patient and dedicated)

A guy putting on a puppet show  (fun and kind to children)

Perhaps the biggest frustration is when people’s Facebook pages do not match who they say they want to date.  If they say they want a good girl, but then have questionable pictures or content on their page, it’s hard to know what it is they really want.  I’m not willing to take a bet on these people until they get it all straightened out.

Are you a matchmaker? 

Has Facebook been a help or a hindrance to your efforts?  

P.S.  If you can do me a favor, will you share this article?  Just click on the Facebook icon below, and you’ll be set.  I would love to keep this writing up, but I need to expand my audience.



  1. I’m just glad fb wasn’t around when I was single. Seriously, it has changed so much about the social world. But I would l like to think I would have been smart enough to avoid the pitfalls you just described.

  2. More posts! I come here every day, and I like the posts, but there just aren’t enough posts! MORE!

  3. I am frustrated with this aspect of facebook as well. I tried to set up a nephew of mine with this amazing girl, and the first thing he did was look her up on facebook. Her nose was too big. End of story–he refused to even consider her. It drove me crazy. Yes, her nose is big, but when you are there in person with her and hear her laugh, sing, make inspiring comments, etc. you don’t even notice the nose, which is far from attrocious in the first place. Ugh.

  4. I know—that’s one part I don’t like either is that Facebook lets people screen people out quickly if they don’t feel they;re cute enough whereas on a date, they would have a few hours to spend time with them.

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