Why Aren’t Teens Going to Dances Anymore?

I asked my son if he was going to go to the church dance, and he looked at me like I’d asked him to jump the moon. So I called one of his friend’s moms to see if she was making her son go, and a few hours later, a group of boys, some more reluctant than others, were on their way to the church without their basketballs. A miracle indeed.

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A few gallant gentlemen

Before my son left, my husband and I offered to pay him a dollar for every girl he asked. He shrugged his shoulders and grunted, which of course means “yes” for a 15-year-old, and we were elated that we had thought of bribing our son to be a gentleman. Innovative parents were we.

Then he texted:

There are like 20 people here.

What? I was confused. This dance had been well-advertised with posters and plenty of announcements. Surely, the church l would be so packed with kids that they would have to slow dance with each other the entire time.  How lovely!

I didn’t understand it. Where were all the other kids?  Still, I had high hopes and waited anxiously for my son to come home. There was so much to ask him. With whom had he danced? Had he talked to any girls? Had he actually tried using complete sentences?

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How do you do, m’lady? That’s what they’re saying, in case you were wondering.

But when he got home, he grumbled and turned on the television.

When I pumped him for more information, he said, “Mom, it wasn’t like that, OK?”

I grilled him later only to have him say, “I don’t know Mom. I wasn’t paying attention.”

His dad asked, “What? You didn’t notice whether people were dancing?”

“Well some were kind of jumping around together and then some were doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance and some were just sitting around.”

“When you say jumping around together, you mean they were just jumping all together in one big group?” I asked.  (How romantic is that?! Ugh!)

“Yeah,” he answered.

Why don’t kids pair off for a dance anymore? Why is it so hard for boys to ask? Since asking a girl to dance is such a gallant thing to do, and since most 15-year-old boys are dying to be gallant, I don’t see what the problem is.

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No! I want to be Mr. Darcy! No you can’t be! I’m going to be Mr. Darcy! Wanna duel over it?

Yet I have an idea for a solution.

Do your teenagers like going to dances?  Why or why not?

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3 comments

  1. Maybe you shouldn’t tell your children how to have fun.
    Maybe if you force your children to have fun the way you had fun it won’t make them happy.
    The problem is you are trying to live your child’s life instead of him. So why don’t you let your children be?

  2. This is deeply concerning to me. Coercing minors to engage in semi-sexual conduct is not at all acceptable.

    In fact any time a person uses their position of authority to manipulate someones sexuality it is a problem. Imagine your boss telling you “you wont get your paycheck unless you slow dance with x”

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