Christmas Card 2004–A Family Résumé

Our Family Résumé


Job Description

  • David: Lends money to people that are already rich; winds up boys that are already hyper.
  • Rebekah: Serves 21 meals, administers 47 timeouts, washes 15 loads of laundry, reads 9 children’s books, sweeps 18 times, and yells 0 times on a weekly basis.
  • Benjamin:  Helps kindergarten teacher quiet down class.
  • Eli: Lies around.
  • Baby David:   Dances on dishwasher door, grabs unattended knives, and attempts to sticks metallic objects in electrical outlets.


  • David: Graduated from UCLA’s  School of Business.                    June 2004
  • Rebekah: Underwent vigorous retraining program.  Studied the following books: Getting Organized, The Strong-Willed Child, Is There Life After Housework? and her favorite, Who Says It’s a Woman’s Job to Clean?
  • Ben: Four months of kindergarten.
  • Eli: Should be in preschool (but his Mom loves his pleasantness at home).
  • Baby David: If only he could be in preschool.


  • David:  Played basketball with a former BYU player.
  • Rebekah: Hosted French and Mexican cooking parties.  Convinced friends to do the cooking.
  • Ben:  Ate nine pancakes with maple syrup.
  • Eli:  Has not been mistaken for a rug—yet.  Unloaded dishwasher when his food supply was threatened.
  • David: Is still alive.  Learned how to scowl.

Experiences (Only Good Ones of Course)

  • Bought a new home in the East Bay from generous friends.
  • Camped at Pismo Beach and ate the world’s best clam chowder.
  • Biked through San Francisco and drank hot chocolate at Ghirardelli square.
  • Saw dolphins near Malibu beach and later in Monterey .
  • Hiked around Lake Anza and baby stayed in daddy’s backpack.
  • Challenging experiences will be provided upon request.

Contact Information



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