Decision Making 101: Failing Miserably

Do you ever feel that life is just a series of interruptions?  That’s how I felt today.  Let me give you a run down of the schedule.  Also keep in mind that I’m rotating seven loads of laundry.    Please feel free to skip if you get bored because the end gets a little more interesting.

d8350-babyshower016-1

7:00 a.m.  Scripture time and breakfast

8:55 a.m.   Take Debi to preschool

9:10 a.m.   Eat breakfast, get ready

10:15 a.m. Go to Davy’s junior high orientation

11:15 a.m. Go with the captain to get his cellphone ported into my line.

11:40 a.m.  Run into library so they can take off security device off Frozen.

11:45 a.m.  Pick up Deborah from preschool

12:05 p.m.  Ben texts me to tell me he’s bombed his chemistry test.  Needs support.  Like in a tutor.

12:10 p.m.  Ben keeps accidentally like five times.  Can’t even get the text through to tell him because he keeps calling me.

12:15 p.m.  Call school to get Ben excused.  Nobody answers so I leave a message.  Mystery of the decade:  Where are all the secretaries?

1:20 p.m.  Pick up Ben at school.  He’s not waiting for me.  Call and text him.  Doesn’t answer.  Call attendance office.  No one answers (surprise).  Call administrative office—fifteen minutes later, Ben comes out.

1:50 p.m. Drop off Ben to get braces off.  Talk to dentist about how many retainers we should buy at a discount ahead of time.

2:15 p.m.  Pick up Davy and Ricky from school.

2:30 p.m.  Neighbor texts to see if it’s ok if her son still plays with Ricky.  Yes.

2:40 p.m.  Throw cookies in oven.  Neighbor kids eat most of them.

3:00 p.m.  Go pick up Ben from braces.  Take him to his tennis match at the high school.

4:00 p.m.  Teach a bunch of cub scouts how to play tennis.

5:00 p.m.  Come home and get dinner in oven.  Laundry, laundry, laundry.  Tidy up house.

5:45 p.m.  Go pick up Ben from tennis match.  Listen to Ben gripe about how awful it is to have his braces off.

6:15 p.m.  Have dinner

6:45 p.m.  More laundry

7:30 p.m.  Practice piano with Ricky

8:30 p.m   Prayer

8:35 p.m.   Blog

That’s a day for you!  And I’m not complaining.  The truth of the matter is, it’s busy, but there is something satisfying about taking care of everybody.  I usually get up earlier to do yoga but daylight savings is of the devil.

But now we are getting to why I dropped the blog, and why I’m still scratching my head about whether I should start again.

Eleven months ago I went to a writer’s conference.  I pitched my young adult romance novel (about half way finished) to a well respected agent there.  She loved the idea.  She loved the title.  She told me to send it into her agency as soon as it was finished. (And literary agents are not easy to find.)  This good news came after lots of writing failures which is probably why it tasted so sweet.

The story is about a girl who lives in a chaotic family and wants to escape to Oxford, England. Some cute boys are involved.  And contrary to what my beta readers think, the story is not autobiographical:)  I know I run great risk at telling you my story’s premise as it has the makings of a runway bestseller, but hey, I trust you.

Then we moved and downsized which is actually worse than just moving.  I tore my hair out.   I blogged to stay sane. Things settled down, and I tackled the book again.  I signed up for a writer’s conference and scored a pitch session with an EDITOR.  (Better than agents since editors ultimately give the thumbs up on your book)  WHOSE FAVORITE GENRE IS ROMANCE NOVELS (hey! my book has TWO love interests)  AND WHO WORKS FOR ONE OF THE BIGGEST PUBLISHING COMPANIES IN THE COUNTRY.  Score, score, score.

I have a ten minute pitch session with her in two months.  My novel isn’t finished.  It’s considered bad form to go to a pitch session without a finished novel.  Yes, I did it last year, but I don’t really want to make a habit of it.

I organized a wickedly awesome book group and was writing and having a great time and everything, BUT.  This nagging feeling kept telling me that it wasn’t the right thing for me right now.  I fought  it for a long time. Finally, a few months ago, I sighed and took a breath and said a prayer that was pretty much,  “O-kay, whatever you say.”  And then a door opened that same week.  It wasn’t the door that seemed the most lucrative or tantalizing, but it felt like the right door.

Now it no longer feels right.   Well, maybe, it we tweak a few things here and there, it might work, and maybe it I start on it this next fall instead of right now–

Oh dear.  I’ve lost all credibility with you.  Well just imagine what it’s like being ME!  Never knowing what you’re doing from day to day!  It’s awful!

But this all comes back to the beginning of this post where I gave you a rundown of my hectic schedule.   (You thought this post had no direction, but I sure fooled you!)

Yes, sitting in a quiet room and writing about a silly girl who falls in love with an English boy is really quite enjoyable, but just WHEN IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO WRITE IT?  I do write–in the middle of the night, in the early mornings, and sometimes in the middle of chaos, but I worry that it’s pulling me away, mentally away from where I need to be right now.  The thing is, I’m nuts about my family.  Yes, we have our challenges, but I can’t believe how quickly this time is flying!  How quickly they are growing up!  I tell little Debi that she must stay five all of her life, and she just wrinkles up her nose and laughs at me.  But it’s not funny.

And several of my children seems to be going through an awkward transition right now.  (Yes, in that respect, they emulate their mother.)  And I can’t help wonder if I should be utilizing my writing time (what little I have) to help them–like interviewing a bunch of ADHD millionaires with my ADHD son so that he can see that ADHD is a gift.  Or interviewing the legion of top vloggers in this state with my other son who is vlogging.  While the newspaper doesn’t pay much for articles, it does give me access to some pretty amazing people.  Maybe I’m supposed to just keep blogging because even though I’ve getting zilch for it, it’s keeping me connected to my dear friends and helping me live with more awareness and purpose.

Whoops!  I’ve exceeded my 1000 word limit.  And I’m tired.  Come back tomorrow for more of decision making 101.

Have you ever struggled to make the right decision?

Any of you looking for some opportunities to do free lance editing, free being the operative word?

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3 comments

  1. Wow, you have to go to the ten minute pitch session… even if it’s not all the way done!! She’ll understand, you’ve got five kids.

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